Impossible Objects
The Journal of Applied Impossibility
a blog. blahhhhg. blouuuuuggggh!
Agree to Disagree1/27/2022 NOTE: this was originally written for my personal site on May 18, 2018. I then deleted it, and thought about re-publishing. This should give you an idea of how long it takes me to get over my discomfort with sharing my thoughts. The titular phrase is a part of our workaday lexicon, and I confess that it has always struck me as odd. It is odd because it seems to mean one thing to most people, but whenever I hear it, it sounds like it should mean just the opposite. This strikes me as a microcosm of the collapse of intelligent conversation in the world today. I will also suggest an alternative to this understanding that may be the last great hope for preserving such discourse.
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January 12th, 20221/12/2022 One of my problems with the current fad of “specifying one’s pronouns” is that it simply does not use language correctly. Phrases such as “my pronouns” or “I use XYZ pronouns” don’t mean what folks seem to think those phrases mean. First, pronouns are part of a language, and as such, do not belong to you or anyone else. They are not like a name. This is part of Tarandalation2/21/2021 Here's a boring science fiction story. Like all fiction, it is not based on anything real and you definitely shouldn't attempt to draw any real-world conclusions based on the story. I repeat: it is purely fiction. This sort of thing would never really happen.
On planet Gorolbrax in a neighboring galaxy, there was a race of intelligent aliens with a culture as rich and complex as our own. Something interesting about Gorolbraxians is that about half of all of them were fuchsia and the rest were magenta -- and this ratio held true in every society on Gorolbrax. Among Gorolbraxians, there was some debate over which of the two groups was better at certain things, but everyone agreed that both the fuchsia and the magenta Gorolbraxians were vital parts of their planetary life and culture, and that neither group was inherently superior in terms of moral worth. And neither was hands down better at doing all the things Gorolbraxian society valued. Then a fun new activity swept Gorolbraxian society by storm! They called it "tarandalation" ... A Priori Politics as a Mentalism Routine5/13/2020 Note: originally posted on my personal site. Date changed here to reflect original posting date as I migrate my blog here. I.I want to discuss politics on this blog, but in order to do so I need to develop a vocabulary. I have a meta-political pet peeve which I believe I can name and explain through a discussion of the parlance of magic. In honor of Penn and Teller, I’m going to try to make the world a slightly better place by giving away a secret to a magic trick. This is a big no-no in some parts of the magic world, and so I’m sorry to magicians everywhere. It’s for the greater good...
The Madness of Odysseus2/19/2019 Note: originally posted on my personal site. Date changed here to reflect original posting date as I migrate my blog here. He broke off and anguish gripped Achilles. I'm a boss-a** b****, b****, b****, b****, b****, b****, b**** I.
A dear friend once described the willfully ignorant to me: “It’s as though they had super-powers!” It is strange, indeed to think how one can believe what one knows not to be so. It is somewhat akin to flying. Upon reflection, it is perhaps even more to be desired. For flying is sometimes dangerous, and one must leave the comforts of home. To be able to believe oneself to be flying without leaving the living room -- why, that affords all of the delights of both! The CenterI write about all sorts of things. This is one of the places where I do it. Archives
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